Summer 2015 - I knew something was wrong with my body but my pregnancy tests were all coming out negative. I went to the clinic closest to my house and the doctor ordered samples of my blood, urine, and stool "to be safe". I get sent to a second clinic down the street to have blood draw and deliver samples. The second clinic says they'll give the results to the doctor in 3-5 days.
A week goes by so I call them back and check in. They inform me the doctor already has the results and they're legally not allowed to discuss it further. I call the doctor he says he doesn't have my results yet. Weeks and phone calls go by. I'm told my result are being processed, withheld by the second clinic, put in the wrong pile, in the mail, it goes on.
The doctor says he finds them, finally. I get to the doctors office and as he's sitting down he says "Well, no surprise here, you're pregnant." I was surprised. I was very surprised, like I said, my pee tests were negative and I always used protection anyway.
I said "What's my next step towards terminating this pregnancy?" (I was 17 and not fit to be a mother) Dr. Chan replied with "You have to wait five days to make a decision. It's my policy as a practitioner to make patients think about it for five days." AS IF I HADN'T BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT SINCE THE DAY I WAS GIVEN A VAGINA.
He had held these test results and called them "lost" for 6 weeks. He knew I was pregnant for 6 weeks and withheld that information only to tell me to "think about it for five days".
In the moment I felt weak, I felt like I should be embarrassed. He was silent, just stared at me. He didn't ask me to leave but he didn't do anything else. I asked him twice for the number of a practitioner who would help me and he said no so, I left. When I got home I googled a women's only clinic and got the abortion the next morning. That clinic told me I was 11 weeks 5 days along. I knew at 5 weeks something was up with my body, I went to a doctor, he made me wait for results. And he tried to make me wait longer.
I was humiliated in the moment. I felt as if the man was putting me in a time-out for my bad behaviour, shaming me for allowing myself to be in this position. Looking back I wish I had had the strength to tell him he doesn't get to make decisions about my body and confront him on the weeks he made me wait not knowing what was going on with my own body.
Dr. Chan never asked me if I lived with my parents. He never asked if there would be a father for my potential child. He never asked if I had a job. I was young and pregnant. My hormones were wild. Most of my conversation with this man and his receptionist ended in tears because the adrenaline of having to respond his sexist comments in order to get my results would make me cry. Over the phone for those 6 weeks he said thing to me like "don't be rash" and his receptionist told me all she could do was make appointments.
I tried to be proactive and offer new samples. I tried to go over his head and get my files from the second clinic. I tried to get my file from his receptionist.
Only looking back do I see the full scope of his bad behaviour and how much mistrust it gave me towards our medical system. I am scared for other women he has treated and will treat in this manner, for other pregnancies he will obfuscate or mess with. The power he had over my life at that time scares me.
Submitted by G.M.F.
