“I rushed to hospital where they immediately put me in the birthing room, I was told not to moan or “yell”. I wasn’t even swearing, just a nice cow-like moan. The nurse told me I was scaring and stressing everyone out as if they were the ones in labour.“
“I was very anxious that I couldn't get much milk out. I needed to feed my baby and I really wanted to do it naturally. The lactation consultant must have said something to my midwife because that evening my midwife came in and said she wanted me monitored, and that she was going to send staff in every 3 hrs to make sure I was actually going to feed him and ***THAT SHE THOUGHT I HAD BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED AS A CHILD*** based on when they were wheeling me into the OR she thought I was sucking my thumb (I was biting my first as the contractions were strong). She thought that was regressive behaviour that showed this. Seeing as I was being monitored as though I was an unfit mom, still raw from the surprise c-section, and awoken every 3 hrs anyway - I could not sleep. I know statistically that sexual abuse happens primarily among family members and all I could think, as thoughts raced through my mind instead of sleeping, was who had possibly sexually abused me? That was what my child's birth story became. I was raw with exhaustion, wired with this shocking piece of information, still very afraid and alone in terms of figuring out how to breastfeed my baby.”
”Words have huge impact around these completely life changing moments like childbirth. I would like the midwifery profession to know the extent of pain that this caused.”
“Everybody in the medical community acts like a c-section is no big deal and is this easy breezy thing. For me, not a single day has gone by that I am not in pain. At my incision site, it feels like a knife point is pressing in. On days I exercise, the knife digs deeper. Other days it lets up but is never less than a 4 out of 10. There are certain types of pants I can't wear anymore. I get debilitating back pain that wraps around directly to my scar. My hips tighten with shooting pain directly to my scar. During my period, the pain is unbearable. Before I was pregnant, I was running 10-15 km. I still ran 5km until I was 20 weeks pregnant. Now, I can't run 1km without the knife blade digging in. I run anyway but it's definitely more challenging pushing myself through the pain. I've gone to physio and done the exercises, stretches, dry needling, scar tissue massage and nothing has been able to offer any kind of relief so I carry on and just deal with it. I would like to have another child but the thought is terrifying. What if they don't believe me again and I get to feel the doctor slicing and pulling? If I do have another, I will try to get a midwife although the waiting lists are long. If I'm to be stuck with a doctor again, I've decided against all interventions. No cervical checks, membrane sweep, induction, labour augmentation or epidural.”
"I cannot rationalize the way I was treated, and as a health care provider myself it just erodes me to know this goes on day in and day out.
I had a sexual abuse history, but I find it absolutely absurd that you have to share that with people, just to get treated with more empathetic care in Obstetrics. All women should be assumed to have a trauma history given the statistics. And all women should be treated with empathy and compassion regardless of their abuse history. Also sorry, not sorry, not going to share that with someone just because you’re a health care provider, it's called building a therapeutic relationship. If you are asking me whether I've been sexually abused as a checklist, just like when my last menstrual period was, you probably aren't going to get an honest answer. I have been through significant gynaecological issues prior to childbirth and never felt traumatized by any procedure, despite my abuse history.”
“They completed the C-section noting had I waited any longer my uterus would have ruptured. They then asked me while I was open if I wanted my tubes tied, frankly I think that’s something that should be discussed prior to being on the surgical table.“
“I was in tears. I was alone and scared that something was wrong. I had never felt a pain so strong and crushing before. I continued to call my nurse only to be ignored. It had been 8 hours of excruciating pain when a different nurse finally came in. She immediately ran to get my OB and within minutes I was being taken for a C-section. I was in class 3 HELLP syndrome. My liver was about to burst. I was about to die. I almost lost my life and my nurse thought it was gas.”
“I had to go to the ER after a month & a half for pelvic pain. I found out I still had tissue inside, so I had to get a D&C and then get restitched up. Now things down there don’t even look right - good thing I don’t wanna be a stripper! On top of that, I’m now waiting to get my child into physio at CHEO as he has torticollis, which (I’ll be finding out but I’m assuming) is from the trauma of his birth.”
“During the c-section I felt it all. I felt the cut, I felt them inside me, I felt them stitching me back up. I felt the awful, awful pain. They weren't taking me seriously. They told me there was no way I was feeling it, that it was all in my head. Well, it wasn't. Because of them I will never birth another baby, I can't watch TV shows that show surgeries, I can't talk about my birth, I can't even touch my stomach without being brought back to that table and feeling the pain I felt.”
“Operation starts, I feel a lot of pulling and shaking the table. They were talking amongst themselves about vacations and sports, never said one word to me. Showed me the baby briefly, before whisking him off to NICU because he was 4 lbs. Then they sewed me up. The doctor and anaesthetist left the room laughing and said, ‘See you next year. You'll be back again.’"
“No doctors came to check on me while I was recovering after surgery, I was in lots of pain that did not feel normal. I told nurses but they ignored me. I asked for pain meds and 8 hours later they brought me Tylenol! They also discharged me at 8pm with out being checked over or seen! I went and stayed as long as I could with her in the NICU after being discharged and I even started to pump and bring her milk.”
"It shouldn’t matter a person's background whether married or not and no doctor should say so openly they think someone had a stillborn. That moment alone devastated me. My baby didn’t die and for the most part was healthy. A persons age doesn’t determine if they are good or bad parents either."
"I personally feel like my emotions and concerns during one of the most life changing experiences I will ever have were completely disregarded and not taken seriously. I was petrified and confused because of conflicting things that were said and feel like I was a burden on that doctor. I feel like I wasn't taken seriously because of my age, the fact that I'm a young single mom who was having her first baby, and that I was alone without a partner while I was in labour."
"Once my incision was closed the OB screamed at me!!!!!! "Don't you know what could have happened, I don't ever want to see you in this hospital again!"
I am not afraid of confrontation at all and had I not just delivered a baby after 36 hours of labour, I would have yelled back. He made me feel like I left the life of my baby to chance without a care about her well being."
"I say that my child's birthday is also the anniversary of the worst day of my life. I am very sad that it is how I feel.
I gave lots of feedback and they responded well and seemed to want to improve. The anesthesiologist is the only one who really didn't seem to understand the negative impact he had and kept trying to deflect blame."
"I arrived at the hospital where my waters were broken and I was given an epidural. I progressed to 9cm but had enormous pain at the top of my stomach and my back. I had been labouring for 10 hours at the hospital. We asked why I was having this pain but the OB just shrugged. I felt defeated and asked for a c-section."