K.T.'s Story - London Health Sciences Centre, London

I have 2 incidents. 

2009 - After birth, I was in hospital by myself as my mother was going back and forth between me and another hospital where my grandfather was in failing health. I had torn a muscle and could barely walk and the nurse I had was horribly rude and demeaning. She would come in while I was sleeping and move my son to the other side of the room so when he cried it took me almost 20 minutes to get up and over to him. At one point I had bled through an entire pair of their maternity underwear - I'm talking no white left on them - and I sat in a puddle of my own blood. When I asked if I could have another pair to clean up, she told me I could go rinse mine in the sink and put them back on. Then when I went to the bathroom at 3:30 in the morning, she came in and took my son without telling me to go give him his first bath which I had said I wanted to do. By the time I was able to make it to where they were, she was done it so I got to be no part in it.

2015 - My second incident was when I experienced a miscarriage. When I started the process I went in to be checked at the EPAU and was told the heartbeat was very slow and wouldn't make it. I asked for a picture from the ultrasound. He crumpled it up and tossed it away telling me I didn't need it, that it was a picture of nothing anyways. My baby's heartbeat stopped the next day and I lost it, leaving me with not so much as an ultrasound picture to hold onto.

In the moment, I was shocked with the first incident and didn't really know what to do. In the long run, it leaves me with some guilt because I wasn't able to get back that first bath. I also felt belittled like I was being targeted with poor treatment because I was a young single mom. I truly believe it was because I was a younger female and single with no baby father present and with my mom gone a lot, I was easy prey.

With the second incident, both in the moment and long term it's left me heartbroken. I have nothing but a memory of my third child and they were called "nothing" by a doctor despite the fact they were everything to me.

I didn't complain because for the first incident I was young and was my first baby I didn't know whether I was overreacting until it was too late. With the second, I mentioned something to another doctor but got no justice.

Submitted by K.T.